The Matalan guarantee will never be as good as Orvis.
There are several things that Matalan can NEVER guarantee...
1 The shop manager will swear about you for about ten minutes without repeating himself after you have left the shop.
2 It will be loud
3 Your card will now be marked as a trouble maker
$ That will get you another swearing
6 Your name will be added to a book. Ask Ben what the name of that book might be...?
PMSL